Sunday, July 13, 2008

Night and Day, Gay and Straight...Different but One in the Same

I'm not sure if it's the right idea to start my first blog with such a statement but who's to define what's right or wrong?(me...it's my blog so stop reading if you don't like it! lol)

I've been in love, who hasn't? I've loved some off my ex-boyfriends and my ex-girlfriend. Who decides which is better... is it based on gender, personality or unique individual characteristics?

I had boyfriends because as a young woman that's what you do. You meet a guy, you flirt and then you start "dating". Whatever the hell that means. When I was younger I think I defined dating someone as the boy who claimed me. The one who: would call me all the time, compliment my clothes, buy me the valentine or a birthday gift or make me the tape of love songs. Then one day it would be over and I would have one week of sobbing until I moved on to the next. Besides,in the back of my mind, I'm staring at the other girls asses just as much as he may be or maybe even more.

As an adult, there are two or more sides to everything. When I want a relationship all the other person wants is sex or the ones who want a relationships aren't stable enough financially or mentally to even own a goldfish. But now, as an adult I get my option between the two. This does not, I repeat DOES NOT make the situation any better. I've heard women & men say,"It's hard to find a good man." I've heard men & women say, "It's hard to find a good woman." But what the hell... if you can't find one on either end then what do you do?

And what the hell defines a relationship anyway? A relationship of any sort needs to be based on something in common and also has room for growth... but I digress. If any relationship or set of people is hard to find then what makes the gap between gays and straight so wide. They're not night and day in that aspect. As an adult, I find myself on that line and crossing it whenever convienent or when I see a good catch. Plus, I get to holla at the women now, and I can tell you, with my most honest opinion: Dick and Pussy are GRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAATTTT!!!!!

But anyway...

I understand that to find a good person you need to exude confidence. You need to first be comfortable with yourself before you expect anyone else to be. But I don't understand that why you can't find someone for support during this process... Out of all the men and women in the world... why is it so hard to find a few people to build wholesome relationships with. Regardless of whether it's sexual or just a friendship, a good person is hard to find.

I welcome good men and good women in my life, any orientation (and no that does not mean I have sex with all my friend, I just don't judge them.) As I continue to focus on my growth and my development I need people who are doing the same for themselves. I will be a better person (wait for the next blog to read about all of my issues...lol) and I will have better people around me.

If you see this within yourself... then take flight with the phoenix

4 comments:

fuzzy said...

what do you mean you don't know if this is a good post or not? You started off with a bang and I do believe that I am the first one to comment!

I love this post because of its rawness! It showed you, well a portion of you, and made me want more.

I was thinking, bi men have a harder time hopping back and forth than bi women. There are difficulties on both sides of the fence yes. I just think Its harder for bi men. Bi men are gay, and bi women are sexy! I always wondered why the double standard!

Do you and continue doing what you do!

1 Luv,
Fuzzy

Promiscuous X said...

Oh yes....I am totally flying with you.

Yo your first blog entry an your already got the hang of it. Thats Y I take a likeing to you lol. You hit so close to home on this one.

I can't wait for the drama to unfold lol.

BTW .....It is hard to find a good man/woman etc. lol

jerzey_reality said...

Ok so my broke ass computer deleted my original comments sooooo lemme try
this again...this is part of wut i remembered i wrote lol:

You hit the nail on the head about being comfortable with yourself and
confident in yourself. If your not, how can someone else be? What is it that we
always say...u gotta be and put out wut u want to get back, right? We have
spoken about this a number of times but yet we get no definite answers
hmmm....however I feel that as long we strive to be better good things are bound to
happen.

Surrounding yourself with like-minded positive people who accept you for who
you are and are striving for more is definitely a challenge. Why is it that
so many people gay/straight/bi/tri/old/young or whatever are so intimidated
by individuals who are attempting to better themselves? (but thas a topic
for another post) But as long as your doing wut u need to do to be happy then
ull be ok. I have faith in you. And u know how I feel about tryin to find a
good man lol.

Acoustic Soul said...

When do we tak flight?? I felt this. You dug deep and pulled this out. NICE POSTING!