I get it, I will grow...

I just glanced last night at my post over the past 2 years and it's about the same people with the same drama. I haven't changed anything in my life for the better and that is really sad. I thought that I had grown up in some ways or that the men had changed in some ways,but the truth is that they have just added a little bit of swag to their game.


I am not a down trodden person. I do have fun and I enjoy the everyday blessings of life. It just seems like when it comes to men, I can't get it right. Even when it comes to women, I can't get it right. I'm stuck on this topic because it engulfs my thoughts, I don't like the thought of being alone. It scares me. I don't want to have to celebrate my milestones alone. I do have friends and their great. I enjoy seeing them and spending time with them in between all the homework, orders and additional job requirements. I fully acknowledge that I don't take enough time out to do the things that I want to do. I feel that it is pertinent to do the things that I need to do.


I want to make time for my friends, old and new. I find it amazing to think of how we are always free for our love interest but busy when it comes to others. That's why we always get mad at our friends when they get into relationships. We never see them. It's like they are obsessed with their new boo and your friendship is out the window. But once you and your boo are done or fighting, then I'm the first person you turn to for support or comforting. Ha ha, you have time for me now... in your time of need... but not in mine.


Don't get me wrong, this is not haterade at all. I like seeing my friends happy. I want them to find healthy relationships that will develop into something everlasting. I just recognize that with the more people you place in your life, especially when it comes to a lover, then the more you have to concentrate on the balancing act of life. Which is a skill that is not mastered by most. I found it hard to deal with my 4 groups. I have my straight girls, my gay girls, my straight boys and my gay boys. All of whom know an inner part of me that the other group may not. I am not saying that with each group I am a different person. I will always remain the same old me, but beyond baseline characteristics, I am different. And it's hard for people to see past their own moral convictions to move to acceptance.


In the long run, I don't want to write anymore about being sad about men. Or at least the same old men!! I don't want unnecessary drama. I want situations and solutions. Lets see how this is gonna work out. Thanks blogger world. I'm getting on my grind :)